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Literature Text
i.
I thought I might go see you today
but then I realized how stupid that would be
because seeing you would not be seeing you at all
it would be meeting someone else
and I didn't want to have to introduce myself again
or deal with the fact that you don't remember me
ii.
Every time I pass by your old city
I get this little spark of happiness
because I assume you go back there every now and then
and feel something other than pissed off at the world
then I get angry because
I wasn't the one who could make you feel that way
iii.
You used to ask me why a lot
Why do you feel like that?
Why don't you just leave and do what you want to do?
And I realize now, just a year or so too late
That I never had a real answer
but not because I just didn't know
but because I was afraid that you would not agree with my reasoning
iV.
I used to hear nothing but good things about you
You were spit-shined to perfection and gleamed in the sun
Now I hear things I wish I didn't
About how you've become this too-thin, mean thing
And mostly I don't want you to get better
I want you to stay this way so I can always be angry with you
So I might still feel something towards you
V.
I know that eventually I won't care
And you'll waste away into nothing and I just won't mind
I want to send you outside on a warm day so you can wander
and by the time you'll have gotten back I'll have locked the door
and changed residences
and you can keep your feet in the outside grass
no longer feeling anything but bliss
Literature
find one real bit of feeling
do me a favor
no more love, no more later
this time, just stay gone
Literature
tomorrow.
i used to hold you close in the hopes that you'd keep me warm.
it worked physically, but my heart always felt colder; heavier afterwards.
you never liked to hold me, anyway.
-
you and i are not the same.
you like it when the rain falls, and you like being startled when its peace is interrupted by thunder. you like trying to catch the rain in a bucket; you try to 'save' it from colliding with the ground.
i only like to watch it fall.
you are beautiful when you cry; when your body shakes uncontrollably with sobs you can't hold in. you are open when you cry, and i can see past the marble mask you put up and i feel like i know you.
but i
Literature
my heart ran away.
the sky is cold when i tell you that i don't have a heart.
'of course you do,' you tell me. 'you have to.'
but i don't. and you spent so many minutes of that day trying to find my heartbeat, your warm fingers on my icy wrists, searching and searching for something you couldn't find.
and it hurts that even you couldn't prove me wrong.
.
i drew a chalk heart on my concrete drive way and pretended it replaced my missing one.
but it was lopsided and terrible. the rain ended up washing it away in the end, and i could only stand there in the rain and watch as my messy scribbles faded away.
.
i wrote my heart a letter, asking it if it missed
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Comments15
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that made me a bit nostalgic. lovely combination of words! so very relate-able 